


Vineweed

by samlover14



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: M/M, Mostly Fluff, You're Welcome, fluff with a tiny bit of angst i guess, mostly just one big shitpost tbh, seriously though has this been done yet?, vineweed wow i'm hilarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 04:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9162427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samlover14/pseuds/samlover14
Summary: "Did it always say Vineweed?"  Someone has defaced the iconic Vinewood sign to read 'vineweed' instead.  Who could have done it?  Well, Ray comes to mind.  But... uh... isn't he dead?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Had to do it guys. Sorry. not sorry.

Everything was a lot simpler before Gavin said those words. “Did it always say Vineweed?” Everyone ran to the window. Through the slight smog, it was visible without the telescope – the Vinewood sign, now the Vineweed sign. Ryan knocked Gavin aside, taking the telescope from him, zooming it in as far as it would go. There, atop one of the e’s, was a guy in a purple hoodie with pink guns, fending off the cops who were trying to arrest him for vandalism from below.

Adorable.

Except Ray was supposed to be dead. But who else could it be? No one else fit the description, and it couldn’t just be a coincidence. It was too big to be a coincidence.

“Ryan, don’t do anything stupid,” Geoff began, but Ryan had vaulted over the couch, grabbing his mask and keys on the way to the elevator. The goddamn elevator had never seemed so slow as he rode it all the way from the penthouse down to the garage. 

Ryan was teetering on the edge – he didn’t know whether he was going to hug Ray or kill him. Maybe both. He’d been dead, he’d let them all think he was dead for almost two years, and this was his way of announcing his return from wherever the fuck he’d been? At the very least, it was completely something fucking Ray would do. Vineweed. Jesus.

Ryan sat in the driver’s seat of his black and green Zentorno – not his newest, fastest, or favorite car anymore (not since he’d gotten the RE-7B), but Ray would recognize him in it. He pulled the car out of the garage and onto the street, heading across the overpass and up into Vinewood. The sign itself was a ways away, but who cared about the ‘legal’ route at a time like this? 

It was minutes before he was revving the engine up the hill towards the sign. There were still cops galore underneath it, shooting up at Ray, if it was Ray. It had to be Ray. There was no way it wasn’t Ray. Helicopters were starting to fly in. Ryan launched a homing missile at the closest police chopper and it exploded, raining bits of fiery metal down on the scene. 

Fuck, bad idea, now the cops were onto him too. Ryan shouldered his rocket launcher and shot it into the midst of the cops. The explosion devastated the police, and two cars went flying. Ryan sprinted the short distance to the sign, watching the few remaining officers hit the ground around him from sniper bullets as he did.

“Ray, that better be you!” Ryan yelled up to him.

“What if it is?” Ray replied, looking over the railing, down to Ryan.

“Then you’ve got a lot of explaining to do!” Ryan called. “Come on down, I’ll call Lester. We can talk.” Ray hesitated for the briefest of moments before he started climbing down the ladder. “Sweet vandalism, though.”

“Thanks,” Ray said. “I thought it would make the right kind of statement to send the new year off in style.” He jumped from a few rungs up and landed on the ground. Ray grinned up at the familiar masked man beside him. “How’ve you been?” Ryan just sighed and gestured to his car, as the sirens got closer. They both hustled to the two-seater, sliding in as Ryan dialed Lester. A short phone call later, and they were back on the main road with no police following them.

“Why are you here?” Ryan finally asked Ray, who seemed content to sit silently in the passenger seat, playing the newest Pokemon game on his DS.

“Because you asked me to get in your car,” Ray responded without missing a beat. Ryan slammed on the brakes so hard Ray’s seatbelt locked and threw him back against the seat. “Is that not the truth?”

“Why are you in Los Santos, why are you alive?” Ryan asked.

“Oh, that,” Ray shrugged. “Yeah, that’s a good question, I guess.”

“Where have you been?” Ryan continued to ask.

“Liberty City,” Ray responded.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, why does anyone do anything?”

“We thought you were dead,” Ryan said, making a sharp turn, away from the penthouse.

“You were supposed to,” Ray agreed. “That was the plan.”

“You… planned this?” Ryan asked, shooting a look at Ray. His DS was still open in his hands, but he wasn’t looking at it. He was staring out the windshield, watching the road as they flew around corners and zigzagged through traffic.

“I went home, what’s the big deal?” Ray asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but something in his voice betrayed he was scared. Ryan pulled another sharp turn, into an unfamiliar garage and parked the car. “Where are we?” He hesitated. “Did Geoff send you to kill me?”

“What? No. Get out of the car,” Ryan said, exiting the vehicle.

“Did you guys move?” Ray asked, perplexed, but getting out of the car nonetheless, and following Ryan through the door into the strange building.

“If you wanted to go back to the penthouse, be my guest, you can answer to the rest of the crew. They will undoubtedly have more questions than I do,” Ryan said. Ray didn’t protest, but followed Ryan into the elevator. “This is my new place.”

“It’s… nice?”

“It’s part of this whole deal Geoff’s doing now… I don’t really want to get into it… we’re buying, selling, stealing, and trading cars now?” Ryan tried to summarize as the elevator chimed open at Ryan’s floor and they got out.

“Cool, cool.” Ray followed Ryan into a nice looking living area that wasn’t too unlike the penthouse, but devoid of persons besides the two of them.

“Why are you back?” Ryan finally asked another time, pulling off his mask and turning around to look at Ray properly for the first time. He looked the same, but different. Same purple hoodie, same pink guns, same checkerboard vans, same, beanie, same glasses, same beard, but something was not quite the same. He looked… Softer? Happier? Maybe Ryan’s memory was playing tricks on him. It hadn’t even been that long. A year and a half? Two years? How long had it been? When was the last time someone brought him up in conversation? Was this one long hallucination Ryan was having?

“I thought maybe you guys might need a decent sniper,” Ray said, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking down at the carpet, scuffing his feet against each other.

“We have Lil J,” Ryan told him.

“So… you guys aren’t the people who posted ‘sniper needed for Los Santos crew’ on Craigslist?” Ray asked. Ryan frowned, not sure if he was serious.

“Are you… thinking of joining another crew?” Ryan asked.

“No! Of course not! I thought it was you guys…” Ray said, sitting down on the couch and, on instinct, reaching for the TV remote and xbox controller.

“You’re always welcome back at Fake AH…. We just… thought you were dead,” Ryan said, seriously, slowly sitting down beside him.

“Well, I’m not,” Ray shrugged. “If you were expecting some kind of tragic backstory, then you’re remembering the wrong person. You’ve disappeared before.”

“And you tracked me down and hauled me back,” Ryan replied.

“So why didn’t you come after me?” Ray asked. Ryan was shocked silent. He blinked a few times, then turned his head to look at Ray, still speechless. “I always went after you, why didn’t you come after me?”

“I thought you were dead,” Ryan said, but his lie was wearing thin.

“Bullshit,” Ray said. “Maybe everyone else did, but no way would you give up.”

“I looked for you,” Ryan admitted. “I hacked every camera in Los Santos, and when I didn’t find you, I hacked every camera in San Andreas, and when I still didn’t find you, I knew where you’d be.” Ray sifted through the xbox menus on the TV and started a game. Ryan wasn’t paying enough attention to the screen to care which game it was. “You’d been gone for a month, maybe six weeks, when I packed a bag and flew to Liberty City. I tapped into the camera grid and found you… it was too easy. You were just… so innocent, with your family, enjoying yourself… I couldn’t bring myself to bust in and tear you away from that. To bring you back here where you’re risking your life every day just by going outside? Where you’re a wanted criminal? I told everyone you were dead. And it was for your protection.”

“Fair enough,” Ray said, pulling his legs up onto the couch, not looking away from the TV.

“Are you coming back to Fake AH?” Ryan asked.

“If the price is right,” Ray replied.

“What’s the price?”

“You know that really tall guy with the skull mask? Totally creepy and terrifying in every way?”

“I’ve heard of him,” Ryan replied.

“He’s really hot. Can I have his new phone number?” Ray asked, finally looking over at Ryan and grinning.

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Admit it, you missed me,” Ray teased, unable to stop grinning.

“I missed you a ton, and you’re an asshole,” Ryan agreed. Ray giggled, and Ryan put an arm around Ray’s shoulders, pulling him in, so Ray was leaning on him as he played games, just like the old days.

“I missed you too,” Ray told him. “I missed doing this. Nights when we couldn’t sleep, lazy Sunday mornings, bunkered down in a safe house after a heist…”

“You know Geoff will make you go through the whole application and hazing process, right?” Ryan asked. Ray groaned.

“No way, man, I’m not a freshman,” he whined.

“Maybe I can put in a good word with the boss,” Ryan suggested.

“What’s it cost?” Ray asked.

“Don’t you ever fucking run away like that again,” Ryan replied.

“Sold.”


End file.
